Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”
Why does this not have any notes?
lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”
“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”
“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”
you know when you get out of the cinema and you feel high and drunk or is it just me
SOMETIMES I JUST FEEL LIKE A CAN DO ANYTHING AND JUST SO BADASS BUT THEN I JUST SIT IN THE CAR AND QUIETLY GO HOME BUT IN MY HEAD I’M TAKING OVER THE WORLD
SOMEONE HAS FINALLY SAID IT
When all you want is to lay under the sheets next to someone, and to feel their warm skin against yours. To hear their heart beat slowly as if they feel safer in that moment then they ever have before. To fall asleep knowing you’ll wake up to their perfect self and adorable sleepy voice the next morning and everything will be okay.