It's Storytime

We all have a story to tell. And this is mine.

operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

(via hashtagugly)

You’re allowed to let go of people who give you negative vibes. You’re allowed to choose for yourself. You really are.

—Shanti (via travel-as-a-happy-hippie)

(via monon0ke)

winterfvll:

When all you want is to lay under the sheets next to someone, and to feel their warm skin against yours. To hear their heart beat slowly as if they feel safer in that moment then they ever have before. To fall asleep knowing you’ll wake up to their perfect self and adorable sleepy voice the next morning and everything will be okay.

(via monon0ke)

thatsnotverypoppunk:

Melted cheese dripped on my thumb, it burned like crazy but I left it there till it cooled so I could take a photo.

thatsnotverypoppunk:

Melted cheese dripped on my thumb, it burned like crazy but I left it there till it cooled so I could take a photo.

haleyscomett-art:

I FOUND IT

NO ONE BELIEVED ME WHEN I SAID I HEARD AN ICE CREAM TRUCK DROPIN BEATS DOWN THE STREET

NOW I HAVE A VID TO PROVE IT OMG I’M SO HAPPY I DIDN’T IMAGINE IT YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME

(via dunrath)

pumpkinspicewhitegirllatte:

ryanjamesyezak:

This Anna Kendrick Little Mermaid SNL sketch is impossible to find (NBC ran into some legal issues with Disney)… watch while you can!

Amazing

(via servant-of-the-earth)